Overcoming the curse of competence
I was coaching some senior leaders in the education sector, and I noticed a pattern. Those who were highly competent were broadly left to themselves. And, worse, the more competent they were, the more likely it was that they would get very little air time with the boss. It was almost like their COMPETENCE was being REWARDED with…. absence, isolation, neglect almost! (shakes head). Now, these leaders were perfectly able to get on and fix problems and get ‘stuff’ done. But every now and then, they needed some top cover, a sounding board or just some run-of-the-mill line manager support. But, they either couldn’t access it, or wouldn‘t ask for it. And it got me thinking.
That's the curse of competence. When you're seen as too good at your job, people assume you've got it covered. The check-ins stop, the support dries up, and the very thing that got you noticed ends up leaving you on your own.
Why capable leaders don't ask for help
Do you lead a team and feel the pressure that you should have all the answers, all of the time? If so, you’re not alone. Many leaders believe that lacking solutions or needing input from others somehow makes them appear less competent. They fear they may be perceived as less capable or overpromoted if they ask for help when faced with uncertainty. And then of course, if they’re *too* competent and finally pluck up the courage to ask for help, they won’t be taken seriously anyway.
The thing is, we work in increasingly complex environments, and we urgently need to rethink this phenomenon if we want sustainable business and personal growth. The thing is, we work in increasingly complex environments, and no one person can hold all of it. The leaders who thrive are the ones who stay curious, are willing to be vulnerable and are comfortable leaning on others, both up and down the chain of command.
What being too good at your job costs you
If the curse of competence has created unrealistic personal expectations that you should have all the answers, stop for a moment. Reflect on how clinging on to the idea that you must handle things completely independently serves you. Especially in a business environment with constant uncertainty and rapid change. Does asking for help really signal weakness, or does it demonstrate humility? What mindsets or behaviours might be worth challenging or evolving?
As someone who’s walked in your shoes, I had to be brave and challenge similar beliefs that “getting to the top” meant handling things solo. I thought I needed to keep projecting bulletproof confidence and capability at all costs. How did that actually serve me? By increasing isolation and self-inflicted pressure.
Questions worth asking yourself
To be successful in leadership today there needs to be a mindset shift. We need the courage to openly ask ourselves:
How are assumptions that we should have all the answers serving us? Especially in an age that requires so much more collaboration.
How can we reframe help-seeking not as inadequacy or incompetence but as our responsibility? We expand our capacity when we build strategic partnerships.
How can we be more ‘forceful’ in asking for help if, inadvertently, we’ve given off an “I don’t need you” vibe?
Why the best leaders ask for help
The leaders who get the furthest don't do it alone. They swap ideas, lean on each other's strengths and know when to put their hand up. When a leadership team stops relying on its most capable people to carry everything and starts pulling together, it achieves far more than any one person could. That only happens in psychologically safe environments, where asking for help is seen as a strength rather than a weakness.
So here's my invitation. Take a moment to consider how your mindset is serving you. Being competent is brilliant, but it isn't the only sign of a great leader, and asking for what you need can take you and your business a lot further. Step out of your comfort zone, and your 'content zone' too. [1]
Today's most capable leaders set the tone by asking, “Who can I learn from?” rather than just “What more can I teach myself?” When we work together, maximising other people’s knowledge and strengths, we ALL reach peak performance. It starts with being vulnerable role models.
Ready to break the curse of competence?
If you're the one everyone assumes has it covered, it might be time someone had your back for a change. A Team Effectiveness Programme helps leadership teams share the load, so your most capable people aren't left to cope on their own. Fancy exploring it? Book a complimentary discovery call.
Do you want to break free of the curse of competence? Send me a message or book in a complimentary discovery call to explore this topic further!
[1] Herminia Ibarra – Act Like a Leader, Think Like a Leader
