Why won't they just step up?
Right then. Brace yourselves. I’m going to do some straight talking about that thorny issue that might be giving you sleepless nights.
You've got this brilliant person in your team. They've been with you forever. They know your business inside out. They're absolutely fantastic at their job. So obviously, they'll be a natural at leading others doing that job too, right?
*insert sound of screeching brakes*
Hang on a minute. How's that working out for you?
If you're anything like the business owner I was chatting to recently, you might be tearing your hair out right about now. That star player seems about as comfortable stepping up into leadership as I am with interpretive dance in the boardroom (trust me, nobody wants to see that).
The harsh reality
I’m going to be brutally honest here. When your would-be leaders aren't stepping up, it's more than just a pain in the backside. Your business is stuck. You're spinning more plates than a circus performer with a caffeine addiction, desperately trying to do all the leadership stuff yourself while also attempting to, you know, actually run your business.
If we are honest, you’re probably getting a bit narked off about it. Aren’t you?
So, what's actually going on here?
Before you write them off as a lost cause (we'll come back to that in a minute), you need to understand what might really be happening. In my experience (and trust me, I've seen this before), it usually comes down to one of these barriers:
1. They actually can't (yet)
Being brilliant at doing a job doesn't automatically mean you'll be brilliant at leading others doing it. Shocking, isn’t it?
Have you actually told them what "good" looks like in their new leadership role? I don't mean that vague "just step up and show some leadership" rubbish. I mean proper, clear expectations. No? Well then...
2. They're bricking it
Your star player might be secretly terrified. Do you remember your first leadership role? That feeling of "oh sugar, what do I do now?" (Or whatever words you actually used...)
This isn't about their capability - it's about their confidence. It’s also possibly about understanding that leadership isn't just their old job with a fancy new title and a pay rise.
3. They're digging their heels in
I think this is where it gets interesting. Sometimes, people resist leadership roles because they're losing something they value. My mate Dan Pink (okay, he's not really my mate, but his work is spot on) talks about three things that motivate us:
Autonomy - being in charge of our own work
Mastery - being really good at something
Purpose - doing work that matters to us
When someone moves into leadership they often feel like they're losing all three. Ouch. Have you considered what your new leader is losing or how they are feeling?
Right, now it’s time for my mischievous question
Those who know me will know I like to ask the awkward questions. So here’s one on this subject:
Have you already checked out on this person?
Be honest. Have you already decided that they're not going to make it? If you have, you're probably not giving them your full support.
That's okay - but for heaven's sake, don't waste everyone's time trying to develop someone you've already written off. Change your mindset or get yourself some proper HR advice about your options and crack on with that instead.
Making this work (if you haven't already checked out)
If you're still in the game (and, as a side note, you should be - have you seen the cost of recruitment lately?), here is what you need to do.
First of all, get really clear about what you actually want—properly clear, not just that vague "show some leadership" malarkey. What exactly does leadership look like in your business? What specific behaviours do you need to see? How will you know it's working? And no, "they'll just know" isn't an answer. Write it down. Make it real. Make it something they can actually get their heads around.
Next, and this might sound counterintuitive, but make it safe for them to be a bit rubbish at first. Do you remember learning to ride a bike? You didn't hop on and immediately enter the Tour de France, did you? Give them permission to wobble. Create an environment where they can admit what they're struggling with. Listen without judgment (even when your inner voice is screaming, "Seriously?!"). They'll never get better if they're too scared to admit they're struggling.
Third on the list is giving proper feedback. I don't mean a wishy-washy "you're doing great". Use the SBI model (because who doesn't love a good acronym?). Here's how it works:
Situation - "In yesterday's team meeting..."
Behaviour - "When you sat there like a lemon while the team argued..."
Impact - "Everyone left confused and probably heading to the pub..."
Specific, clear, and actionable. No room for misinterpretation.
Finally, let them drive their own development. I know it's tempting to just tell them what to do (especially when you can see exactly what needs fixing) but resist that urge. Instead, ask them what support they need. Agree together on what good looks like and when you'll check in. Be clear about what happens if things don't improve - nobody likes nasty surprises. Think of it like a GPS - you're setting the destination, but they need to figure out how to navigate there.
Stop faffing, start fixing
Supporting someone to step up into leadership is like teaching someone to drive - it takes time, you need patience, and occasionally, you might have to reach for the imaginary brake pedal. Before you decide they're hopeless, make sure you've given them a proper chance to succeed.
If you've honestly tried everything, it's still not working, well, that's when you need to have that "what now?" conversation. But we'll save that particular joy for another day...
What next?
If you're wrestling with this challenge in your business, let's have a chat. I promise not to sugarcoat anything - but I might just help you find a way forward. Book a consultation and let's sort this out.
